


The Bar Where It Happens (SloSlo fanfiction, NO SMUT)

by NovaNin



Category: Nation Being Things (Webcomic)
Genre: Bohemian Hall, Fluff and Angst, Multi, SloSlo, for my one and only sub-cult, gay and confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27117937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaNin/pseuds/NovaNin
Summary: When you´re a local loner that still lives with their older sister and hopelessly hopes to gain success as a writer, life can get pretty boring. Every day the same song: Bohemian Hell, Flaviu ordering the weird drink no one else had heard of, Kemény´s bullying and visitors of the bar which have absolutely no self-control.But that all changes when a young kindergarten teacher decides to quit an environment full of hatred that his family creates daily and walks into a bar.Maybe not everything that´s written in books is just a work of our imagination. Maybe we all deserve fluff. That´s why I came with this story after all.
Relationships: SloSlo - Relationship
Kudos: 8





	1. In Case I Don´t Live Forever, Will Anyone Remember These Words I Bleed?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lully Cult](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lully+Cult).



“You know, people here are not so much of idiots as you say.”

“First of all, I never said it, I just thought it. Second of all, it is you who repeats that every day.”

When Lenka didn´t reply, I raised my eyes just to see her already standing on the opposite side of the bar from Flaviu, completely ignoring me.

I rolled my eyes so loud that a librarian would probably kill me for that but she hasn't done it yet so I guess I'm fine.

Anyway, not even my sister talks to me anymore. Not that I mind it but I told her to bring me some TatraTea an hour ago and when I repeated her my request after 20 minutes, she brought me tea and went off again.

And so I returned to my work and decided to kill her in the next chapter of my short story. I´ll bring her back 5 chapters later, of course, because otherwise there will be no one to save Aga (aka Agnieszka) from the evil mercenary Cayman (aka Kemény) which is trying to seduce her.

I leaned on my wrist, tired as hell, and held a pen above the paper, just staring at it before something finally crossed my mind but anything came up to me, I simply didn´t like it.

“Oh, you´re writing?” A new male voice interrupted me and I almost jumped out of my seat because it doesn´t happen every day that someone just approaches you and begins to ask you annoying questions as if you were their friend.

“Nooo, I´m transfusing my blood into a paper. See how black it is? Now--” I raised my head and immediately froze because I knew him. Not personally but I knew he´s a teacher at a kindergarten which I, Lenka, and Agnes used to visit a long time ago. I remember we almost attended the same high school but I changed my mind later.

We never talked about personal stuff because yeah, we have our own groups of friends. Well, he has, I have just Lenka, Agnieszka, sometimes Flaviu when he´s not an idiot and occasionally Dalibor.

But he was known as the softest and most chill guy in the city and even I felt bad for being sarcastic. Surprising, what society can do to you and your behavior around particular people.

“I mean, yeah…” I closed the notebook and placed a pen on the bar, trying to give him a hint that I don´t wanna talk about it.

But man, is he oblivious. “Oh, that is really cool! My favorite genre is poetry but prose can be also awesome! How long have you been writing?”

Before I could open the mouth, Lenka approached us and for a second I thought she came to save me but then I noticed a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. Older sisters are the WORST.

“Hello, Mr. Resnik, what brought a man like you to our bar?”

“Just Luka, please. I guess even we teachers deserve a drink sometimes.”

“That´s a spirit! What can I serve you then? Lemme guess. Rakija?”

“Oh, no no no. Please, no.” He looked around himself cautiously and I knew that he was watching out for his sister which is so obsessed by rakija that she once tried to pour it down his throat. A pretty violent fam. “I´ll have some wine.”

“Wine? I think you´re in the wrong place, boy.”

Slovenia shrugged and the expression he pulled was so pure that I felt an urge to hit him for being such a baby. No homo tho. Ha ha…

“It´s true that Augustus sells better wine but-- I can´t be there when he constantly argues with Dochia.”

“This place is even more aggressive than Augustus´ winery.”

“Zdenko has a point.”

“Yeah, but you´re at least a bit generous. Look at yourselves, you are able to agree on things without smashing the other one with a metal pole.”

“True. Anyway, I have to return back to work but you continue.”

“Talking to Grigorescu isn´t real work, beer-chugger.”

“So isn´t writing books but I´m not bragging about it. Now, make some friends so I don’t have to see your annoying face ever again.”

"I'm in my office all day, you don't see me now either!" I slammed my fist on the bar and saw Luka back a bit so I calmed down. Stupid sensitive boys, they make me do this.

"That doesn't mean I can't hear you blasting musicals, movie music, and overly depressive songs!"

"They motivate me!"

"Whatever." Lenka waved her hand at me and before I could say what I think about her "whatever", she left.

"So, where did we finish?" Luka asked, apparently a bit afraid I'll use my still balled fist to hit him, too. How  _ TRAUMATISED _ that boy must be? He watched others fight all his life and yet he's caring about some book of mine.

"If you expect me to remember something that happened a few minutes ago, I have to disappoint you but I have a memory span as big as Kemény's IQ. But something about my hopeless book."

"What is it about?" His eyes shone with an interest. I would almost call it a sincere interest but Luka was probably just being polite. As always.

"Some poems, some short stories, some musicals. Anything."

"Can I read any?"

Before I could even think about the answer, my mouth already knew it. 

"No." I froze because it sounded a bit too rude. "It's not finished yet." I shrugged his question off.

"Alright. I see."

I sat there in complete silence, grasping my notebook between cold fingers as Luka sipped his wine, maybe too elegantly. 

Finally, I stood up from my chair. "I should go."

Luka nodded with a soft smile. "Alright! It was nice to talk to you."

I nodded back and before I could make things even more complicated, I left.

Little did I know that after I left, Lenka showed him one of my poems which I gave her for a birthday, although I don't want him to see him.

And little did I know that his adorable smile, soft face, and politeness will annoy me for another few days. 

I am a writer. Unfortunately, I know a Muse when I see one; I notice details once I let people in, and most importantly, I'm the most stupid and loyal Slav in my whole family.

Of course, I'm gonna complicate everything because of this one meeting that wasn't supposed to matter.


	2. Gay and Confused? Nah, Gay and Dumbass.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just read it. I know you want to. Go on. Leave some comments.

“What was next?” Luka asked, almost not even breathing -- not because the story I was telling was somehow breath-taking or whatever but he´s been laughing at my short comedy story for 20 minutes straight, his face all red and full of joy.

“Well,” I continued, also struggling to keep my face straight but I had some training from the times I and Lenka had these “you can´t laugh” challenges when we were only 200 years or so old. “The young duke switches his phone on, recording his face to have some proof that he´s not alone in the house, although he should be, he stands on the edge of the staircase and says in a singing voice: “If you came to murder me, clap your hands!” “

“What kind of murderer would--”

“Oh no, the murderer that was waiting downstairs DID clap. But the funny thing is that Duke screamed like a little girl and ran to hide under the blanket because he didn´t expect it.”

Luka apparently vividly imagined it because he burst into laughter again.

I just took a sip of my TatraTea and watched Lenka come out of the kitchen with hands full of draft beer and whatever squash was Flaviu always drinking.

She first frowned at me as she walked around, probably surprised that I made some human being laugh, and right after she brought beer to the customers she fiercely headed straight back to me and Luka as if Flaviu didn´t even exist.

By the time, L stopped laughing and wiped away his tears of joy. I don´t know why was the story so entertaining but better if he was laughing than small-talking.

“Heyyyyy, chucklings, don´t choke on those waves of laughter.” Lenka commented, giving me a “Yo, I don´t know what you dropped in his wine but continue.” look.

I just rolled my eyes but Luka answered immediately. “Hi, Lenka. Sorry if it´s disturbing, but your brother was telling me about an experience of the duke from his short story.” He turned to me and laid a hand on my shoulder. “You should definitely publish it one day.”

“I-- I don´t know. It´s not really good, I write it just for my own entertainment, that´s all.”

“Oh, please. Your book has potential, you know how to use words and I wish I could write something like that.”

Compliments. Compliments, compliments, compliments. How am I supposed to focus?

“Yeah, we could throw a big party here to celebrate your debut book, invite all the influencers from the town, maybe you would even move out and I will be finally able to relax.”

Luka nodded and I would swear I could see stars in his eyes for a second, although that wasn´t possible. The light does weird things. 

“Yeah, we shall do that! I mean, not the part with moving out unless Zdenko wants to…”

They both stared at me and I began to get nervous. Too much attention. Too much pressure.

Too much belief in me from Luka´s side. I hate to and I choose not to disappoint people and so I made the most Pavlík thing I could.

“You know what? I will go out to get some air now. MAYBE I will think about it.” I grabbed both my notebook and a bottle of TatraTea and walked out of the place as fast as possible.

I stopped in front of the entrance gate with a big shiny “Bohemian´s Hall” right above my head, throwing warm red light on me.

Standing there like the biggest antisocial ever, I watched people walking hand in hand around because the night was too dark and none of them wanted to lose their friend, child, or significant other.

The traditional Italian music was playing somewhere in the streets. I shortly saluted to Asbjorn and Hendrik walking alongside a bridge that led to the residential part of the town.

I rose a head up to the sky to see if it is clear enough to see the stars but it was too cloudy with just one shiny ring called the Moon lightening the night for people which felt like taking a walk in the cold autumn streets.

I am the people. 

Completely absorbed in new rhymes about the stars and people created in my mind, I walked across the street, straight to the river.

The Moon was the only thing that kept it from looking like a black hole, its waves glittery like another sky full of asteroids.

I almost screamed when someone appeared next to me but it was just Luka.

“Oh, I´m so sorry, I didn´t mean to scare you--”

“It´s okay. What do you need?”

Luka frowned but it was that kind of puppy-like frown where you can´t take the person seriously.

“Do I have to need something to just approach you and talk?” 

There was so much in that one sentence but he probably didn´t even realize it.

“Lemme guess. Lenka left to talk to Flaviu.”

“Yeah--”

“And you didn´t want to sit there alone,” I uttered with a hidden bitterness in a voice. It was always like that. Not that it matters.

He opened his mouth so much I thought he´ll start yelling at me but then he closed it and just stared in front of him.

There was silence and it wouldn´t be so bad if I didn´t feel that something is weighing down on Luka.

The stars, the Moon, the river, or people - none of it could make me get rid of the guilt I felt in my chest for some reason.

I flinched when he spoke again, much quieter and less energetically than normally but still with so much kindness it almost made me slap myself.

“You think I´m not honest.”

“Honest?”

“When I say what is good about you. You refuse it as if it wasn´t true. But what is a poem without a name?”

“Still a poem. The name doesn´t change anything about the subject the writer is describing.”   
He smiled softly and turned his gentle eyes on me.

“But you are not a poem, Z. What names people give you aren´t just a way for them to feel like better human beings. Yes, some people will lie and give you names which quite don´t fit who you are inside, but after it´s read, people understand.”

“Mhm.” I had to admit that I was quite astonished by those words and maybe stared at him longer than it would be appropriate.

He turned back to the river, visibly deciding between smiling and going back to an upset state. I would swear he was blushing a bit, too which was understandable since it was already really cold outside.

“You´re really overthinking what I just said,” Luka muttered into the inside side of his collar

“Maybe.”

“Jesus, you writers are the worst.” He tried to imitate me and rolled the eyes but it seemed rather hilarious.

I chuckled a bit, which got an offended reaction from his side.

“You know, maybe you´re not honest. But you are so far the  _ honeyest  _ person in the town.”

Bbbbingooo. Honey puns always work. His mouth was in a gentle smile again and I knew my job is done there.

“I should go back. I´m freezing.”

“Okay. I´m already going home because you know, children at kindergarten don´t want their teacher half-dead.”

“I´m sure they don´t. I definitely wouldn´t.”

“So… See ya tomorrow?”

I couldn´t even think about it when I felt my head nodding to that.

He turned around from the bridge and walked away. 

Just after five minutes, I realized I was still staring at the place where he was leaning on a handrail and immediately shook my head to start up my brain again.

But his words - they were still stuck in my head. They meant nothing but--

Or did they?


	3. Everyone Is A Dumbass In This One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much angst I was threatened to be killed. Makes me delighted.

“You can´t run away forever.” Lenka has been laughing at me all the time since we walked out of the bar. I don´t understand why - it´s completely normal to wear sunglasses and a hood over the head in October, isn´t it?

“Watch me,” I whispered under my breath. 

“Seriously. It´s rude.”

“I just don´t wanna talk to him, ok?” I almost exploded at her but I remembered that that wouldn´t be so smart of me if I wanna avoid the attention of a certain person.

“This won´t solve your problems. I don´t understand what happened.”

“Honestly, me neither.” That wasn´t a lie. I honestly didn´t know why but I felt like I shouldn´t get Luka much hope that I´m better than I seem. That wouldn´t be right.

We were almost at markets when I´ve noticed drunk Kemény gossiping to someone on a phone. That would be okay but what I have heard wasn´t.

“Yeah, I know I know. But you should have seen him! No, of course not! We were drinking at Serbia´s, I told you already! But yeah, things went bad, I lost in a game against Croatia and happened to demolish their brother´s beehives.”

I hadn´t understood what is he talking about at first because it sounded exactly like what Kemény was doing every week, every time he was drunk.

But when he continued, the blood in my veins began to boil.

“What? No, he doesn´t have balls for that. Yes, it was terrible but he can just build the new ones, I don´t get why he´s been making such a drama of it. It´s not my fault he keeps his bees everywhere.”

Lenka waved in front of my eyes. “Hey, you okay?”

I didn´t even notice when did I stop walking. “Guess.”

Lenka made a step back. “I haven´t seen you this angry since Friedrich threatened us with eviction.”

I didn´t listen, handed her sunglasses, and headed straight to Kemény, hitting him in a jaw maybe a way too aggressively.

“Hey! What the fuck, man??” He wiped away the blood and turned to me.

“I happened to overhear your call. Didn´t you have enough of bullying?”

“Oh, so someone makes you feel important for a moment and you´re suddenly pretending to be their protector or something! Go away, I have no time for--”

I punched him again and that´s when he didn´t hesitate and attacked back. We ended on the ground after a few seconds and I know that Lenka tried to stop us but unfortunately, streets were empty at this time of the day and she on her own couldn´t stop us, not without hurting us both.

“What are you trying to prove yourself? Even your sister can throw better punches than you. Don´t embarrass yourself and give up before your little friend finds out about this and you lose even the last person that gives a damn about you.”

I ignored him and swang back at my feet, him doing the same.

I have to take him down, I have to show him what will happen if he messes with innocent people, I must--

Two new voices entered a scene but I couldn´t sort them anywhere when the only thing I really wanted to hear was the sound of Kemény´s bones breaking.

Some two hands tried to pull me away from Kemény and the only thing that came to my mind is that they must be some of Kemény´s allies which came to help him beat my ass. I couldn´t let them do that at any cost and so I, without thinking, hit them with an elbow and just then turned around.

Oh shit.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

I could hear Kemény´s laughter and that didn´t make things better.

The person I hit was Luka.

Lenka was now standing by his side, looking for a tissue as Luka held his probably broken nose, and all I was just standing there like the idiot of all the idiots.

“I--”

“Hush.” My own sister silenced me. “Not now.”

And so I watched her take Luka away, talking to him and him either nodding or uttering one or three words. 

Then he probably asked something because Lenka turned to me, then back to him, and shrugged.

“Congratulations.” Kemény was still laughing and that made me wanna go hide somewhere and cry until I die and no one ever finds my corpse. “You really can keep friends. I would use this situation to kick your ass to pieces but I think this is more painful. Well, see ya in Bohemian Hall!”

And he was gone.

Same as my pride, as my chances, my family, and one of a few friends I had. 

This shouldn´t happen. Gosh, maybe I´m the same as Kemény.

I replayed what just happened.

Luka tried to stop me. I-I hurt him. He´s gone now.

And so I did the thing that I was the best at - I ran away from my problems. 

I went home, closed myself in the office, and haven´t come out for more than a month.

The weirdest but the most understandable thing about this all is that no one tried to get me out of there, no one visited me or talked to me about what happened back in the town. As if I completely stopped existing.


	4. Too Much Fluff. God Save My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :))))))

“Oh, great. You´re alive.” was the only thing Lenka said when I came out of my office.

I´ve noticed she has a new hair clip and, guess in what shape it was? Yeah. A bee.

I plumped on a chair in the dining room and watched my sister sew some new patterns on her apron. It always fascinated me from early childhood, how quickly she learned to sew but now that I look back at all my torn trousers, I understand why.

Although it usually had a calming effect on me, my head still ached like hell, my thoughts didn´t stop spinning since the incident and I couldn´t even look Lenka in the eyes. She was visibly the only smart one in this house and helped Luka while I was drowning in my own stupid twinges of conscience.

Lenka probably thought the same when she threw a needle on the table and headed up to me at full speed. I thought she is going to kill me but she just grabbed me by a shoulder and made me stand up. 

“Hey, what-- Ouch, that hurts!”

“You know what hurts me? Your idiotism. Dress up.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I´m going to work in 25 minutes, you´re coming with me. Dress the fuck up.”

“You won´t get me out there!” I bared my teeth at her.

“Oh, really?” She took a small mirror from a shelf next to a library and placed it in front of me.

The look at my own face made me feel more than anxious but I finally knew why Lenka wants me to go out.

I looked like a total corpse.

“And what do you expect me to do there?”

“The same as always. Scribble a bit in your little journal, use your sarcasm to scare away my customers and drink TatraTea all day, for free.”

Before I got a chance to react, she placed a mirror on the table and hugged me.

“Look, you´re an idiot and what you did was bad. But the more idiotic thing is that you didn´t say sorry, you didn´t come to visit him or help us repair his beehives.”

She was right. As always.

I felt even worse now.

“But you can still change things. Although you´re an idiot, you´re also my brother and an amazing writer. And I don´t want you to worry yourself to death.”

“And you think some piece of writing will change anything?”

“No. But you had to be doing something while you were hiding in your room. I know it because maybe, just MAYBE, I was in your room while you were in the shower two weeks ago and MAYBE I found your edited chapters of the book you´re writing and MAYBE I really liked them and MAYBE--”

“Don´t even continue.” I made a few steps back from her as horror began to flow through my whole body.

“No, listen. Now it will get cool. So, remember how Luka mentioned he has a friend which is a book publisher? Well, so I sent it to him, he read it, and…”

I didn´t know whether to smile, cry, or shout at her and so I somehow proceeded to do all three.

“I-- Shall I continue or you´re gonna kill me now?”

“Continue.” I tried to say calmly but I was literally shaking with both excitement and fear.

“Okay, so - I should get the first-ever print today. It should arrive at Bohemian´s Hall and because it also contains your poems which I also read and I think they mean a lot, I want you to give it to Luka.”

That was it. For the next five minutes, we were just staring at each other and it was the most intense 5 minutes of my life.

“Lenka… You are a genius. I-I don´t even deserve you and I--”

“Hey, we all know you don´t. But I kinda owe it to you because you stayed with me all this time, although you didn´t have to, and helped me avoid Friedrich. But now you at least understand why I let you stay at home until now. I wanted you to finish it so I could do this.”

“What did you tell people?”

“Exactly this. That you´d love to come help but you also had to recover from wounds Kemény gave you and then some work connected to your writings came and you couldn´t say no to that--”

“You made me seem that selfish?”

“Less selfish than what you really did.”

Fair point.

“So, get ready. Up from now, it´s  _ your  _ job to fix what is broken.”

Lenka was right. Maybe I´ll fail this but I have to at least try. For her. For Luka´s broken nose.

**…………………………………………………………………**

The whole time I was sitting in the bar, I couldn´t focus on my notebook.

Because it was morning and a workweek, only a few people were sitting inside the bar and joyfully chirping or just laughing at funny stories but yet I felt as if everyone was watching me.

Lenka also seemed a bit nervous but she was hiding it better than me.

My stomach was completely empty, head as well and my notebook now served me just so I could stab my pen in something that´s not my aching head.

And then the door opened. 

At first, I didn´t hear it but what I´ve heard were the steps that I would recognize anywhere.

The joyful clattering of sneakers on the floor tiling reminded me of ticking clocks, reminded me of seconds before my rise or fall.

“Good morning, Lenka, how´s--” Luka froze in the middle of the sentence. 

I had clicked my pen and then slowly tilted a head to face him.

The look on Luka´s face was full of disbelief at first but then his face began to shine and he walked up straight to me.

“You´re back!”

“Uhm,” I gave Lenka a look to which she frowned back at me to indicate that if I don´t follow the script, she will strangle me. “Yeah, I am! Look, I´m really sorry for what happened back in the square…”

“Oh, yeah… Well, I´m okay now! I should have been more careful. It should come to my mind that it´s not the best idea to come from the back and risk being at a bad angle.”

“Yeah, but I shouldn´t hit random people just because they could be potential foes.”

“I have to admit I was a bit worried when you disappeared but then Lenka told me what happened and--- Come on - talk! How was it?”

“Well, I got a lot of muse after that fight, plus finally an opportunity came and--”

The bar door opened again and a middle-aged hipster approached Lenka with a parcel, exactly of the size of a book.

I and Lenka exchanged an excited look as she signed some papers and the courier left.

Luka watched us the whole time Lenka was staring at me with joy and handing me the parcel.

When I finally held the full weight of this saint present, Lenka nodded and beckoned to the big bar door.

A smirk crossed my face as I turned to Luka and finger-gunned at him. “Wanna see something cool?”

The boy stared down on the cardboard miracle in my lap with a tilted head, then raised the eyes back at me and nodded.

I stood up and walked up to the door, being followed by Luka. 

Lenka winked at me one last time, I winked back at her, and then we left.

I was thinking about what place would be best to show L what´s hidden in the cardboard. Finally, I decided on a new chocolateria just a few minutes from the bar.

Nothing is better for October than to have chocolate in every form possible with a friend.

As I expected, it was a pretty warm place for this season and it was full of people but I knew the owner and so we got the most secluded table where no one would interrupt us.

“So,” I began my speech when we ordered some chocolate delicacies. “I´m sure you wonder what´s hidden in this parcel.”

“Well, yeah. You and Lenka looked at each other as if there was hidden a whole stack of cocaine in there.”

Not gonna lie, that made me laugh. “You´re not too far from the truth--”

The look in his eyes after I said it was pure horror. And then it clicked to me.

“Wait, I was just joking. What did even make you think--”

“Have you seen yourself in the last few days?”

“Oh, do I really look that terrible?”

“I didn´t want to be impolite but yeah. You don´t look healthy.”

I straightened in my seat and inhaled.

“You weren´t doing anything exciting at home, right?” It sounded a bit hurt, a bit too worried.

I looked up at him, rethinking what I should say.

“Look, it wasn´t pleasant  _ but-- _ ,” I slid the parcel across the table and pulled out a small smile, “ this is.”

Luka stared at me, maybe longer than he should, and then took the parcel in the hands.

“Come on. Open it.” I kept smiling, my eyes fixed on him.

And so he did. L carefully peeled off every tape that kept the parcel safe from unwanted curious guys and the moment he uncovered the book, my heart went crazy.

I haven´t even seen that book, what if there´s something bad with it? What if the cover isn´t absolutely exquisite? What if I wrote there something too obvious, too personal?

But no. Lenka didn´t disappoint me and everything seemed perfect at the first sight.

Luka apparently thought the same because he alternately gazed at me and the book, me and the book, me, and the book….

I slowly began to be jealous of that thing I wrote when I saw how excited he is.

“This,” Luka raised the book above his head, “this is perfect. Why haven´t you tell me sooner?”

I shrugged sheepishly. “Well, it was a surprise. A kind of sorry for that I couldn´t be there in the hospital or help your bees--”

“Oh. Don´t worry about that anymore. Wait, am I the first one to read it?”

I nodded and that was enough for him to start hugging the book even more. Lucky book.

“This is the best day ever! Oh my god, I can´t believe-- Wow!” he began to leaf through the book, reading every second sentence, stopping above every poem, and getting excited over every metaphor or nice description.

And there, on the last page, was the most personal of all my poems written in it which wasn´t ever supposed to come out of my drawer.

I could feel my hands shaking under the table, my only thought being “ _ AJDDGAJCVSHVSHAFDHSDUDAVDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA _ ”.

The freakin´  _ Bee King _ . 

I was prepared to die. I was prepared to hide for another month and a half I was prepared to just run away from this city, this town.

I avoided eye contact the whole time, just sipping hot chocolate which the waitress brought me and hoped to drown in it.

But Luka´s only reaction was as simple as: “Woah. Just woah. That was  _ sweet _ . You get the pun?”

I silently nodded, trying to chuckle at it.

“What was your inspiration for this poem?”

“Uhm-- A main character´s crush?”

“Awww, how romantic. I wish someone would write me poems like this.”   
I finally remembered how to breathe and rock seemed to fall off my chest.

“I´m gonna read it more in detail at home but I´m telling you - this is perfection itself. I love every single piece of it already.”

And I love--

I stopped my thoughts in the middle of that sentence. It wouldn´t do any good.

Instead, I thought about what would happen if he knew. If it wasn´t a secret, if he felt the same, if I knew how to do things right, if I could just admit I have feelings and I hate it because they make my life even more difficult and yet so meaningful.

If things were exactly like in books, everyone would be happier.

“Do you think maybe you could give me a number?” he asked out of sudden.

“Uhm, sure?” I drew a pen out of my pocket as he handed me the book. Somewhere in the middle, our hands met and it was a shock because while his hands were pleasantly warm, my were cold 24/7, and it felt almost forbidden to touch  _ anyone  _ with hands like that.

“Great. I just want it so I can call you when I come to some really good scenes and when I finish it because man, this is my new favorite book. Are you okay with me calling you at any given moment during the day? Maybe even night?”

I hate calling. But what I don´t hate is the idea of Luka calling me in the middle of the night, hearing his tired voice, making another step forward in life,…. 

Okay, I´ll stop.

So yeah, you can be sure I checked my phone every five minutes when I came at home and Lenka wanted to hear every single detail and of course, I was smiling every time I heard my phone ring and him repeating he´s sorry for interrupting me as if those calls weren´t the reason I feel alive.

And you can write down that I bought my sis a damn big cake, loads of chocolate and a new shirt to wear to Bohemian´s Hall. 

I even invited Flaviu for a dinner and then let them gossip about god know what just so I could stare at the night sky from the balcony, wishing to see one falling star in the hope I could then wish all the best for the kindergarten teacher which made me see the world brighter.

I just wanted to wish for him to see how much he means to me without saying it out loud and especially without messing things up even more than they are.

Is it really that much to wish for someone else´s happiness while wanting to keep my own?


End file.
